Update On “Me!”

I have been at war with myself as to weather or not I should update you on my issue with exhaustion and overtiredness. This is for a a couple reasons. . .

1.) The pure fact that many people I personally know read this blog, and sometimes it’s nice to keep personal stuff personal. But hey, I run a “health and living” blog, and hey, I already brought it up initially. Honestly, it would be easier typing this up if I knew that only people in the blog world would read this, not those I know in “real life.” Sometimes it’s easier talking to strangers, ya feel me? Plus, once a couple people know something about you, it’s not long before everyone else knows too.

2.) Judging. Yes yes, get over it Eryn. You learn to develop a thick skin when blogging. When you allow your life to become so public, you also let in super opinionated, ornery people who are bent on ruining your day. On the upside though, you also get kind people who relate with your posts and are filled with positivity. Those people far outweigh the ones who are mad at the world and have nothing better to do than spread their misery around.

After taking all this into consideration and thinking it over for a month or so, I decided because my issues were relevant to the blog, I would share.

I feel I must throw it out there – talking about my issues doesn’t make me a lesser person. We all go through “stuff” in our lives. New flash: It’s called being human. And yes, for the most part I believe in keeping your crap to yourself, but again, I live part of my life very public, and choose to share certain parts of it on here.

“Out with it!” you say! Okay okay!

As I mentioned previously, I have been struggling with extreme exhaustion since mid summer. As in, I get up in the morning with a huge list to accomplish, but within hours of being up its like an invisible weight has been placed on my shoulders and I couldn’t force myself to move. I would tell myself I’ll just take a small nap while Tyrion naps, but would end up sleeping as long as he would, and even after getting him up and dressed, I’d struggle to motivate myself to get busy and not sit down on the couch again. If you know me personally, you know this is not Eryn behavior. I’m usually up with the sun and going until I drop into bed at night. But lately on most days by noon I would feel so behind I started beating myself up about it, telling myself how lazy and selfish I was not getting needed things done around the house. I spent most afternoons fighting the urge to sleep, and trying to make it seem like I actually cared about any of it.

A snowball effect of sorts entailed. I would be tired, then mad I was tired, then that anger would rub off on those I spent the most time with (insert Travis here), and then at night I would go run my little heart out to prove to myself I really wasn’t the looser I felt like. It came to a head a couple months ago when I tried to do a 10 mile but just couldn’t. At about mile 6 I gave up. It felt like someone was zipping my lungs closed, while adding ten pound weights to my ankles. I called Travis in tears and asked him to come get me. I was truly terrified something was wrong. Why did it feel like I couldn’t get through a regular no fuss day without breaking down?

Travis and I talked, and we thought maybe I wasn’t eating enough, but after a couple weeks of a changed diet and little improvement, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the doctor.

Let me throw this out there – I love my doctor. He doesn’t like using meds unless it’s a last result, and unlike other doctors I have been to in my life, he practices what he preaches. That’s something I can truly appreciate.

I sat in his office and almost immediately broke down in tears. Lame, I know. I told him I felt like a crazy person. As if I’m trying to make something out of nothing and like I shouldn’t even be here. After talking for a half an hour and being asked a bazillion questions, he said it seemed to him like I had late onset postpartum depression, which I was self medicating with running/exercising.

My initial response: “But I can’t be depressed! I have nothing to be depressed about! My life is great!” His response: “That’s why it’s depression. If you had something to be depressed about you would be entitled to be heartbroken and sad. But when you suffer from depressions the reason it’s an issue is because you have nothing to be depressed about, yet you still are.”

He went on to explain that he thinks it’s a very mild depression, and something he would be hesitant to medicate. Since I don’t want to jump on the medication train I was glad to hear that. He told me that while running is a great way to get cardio in, he thinks I am running to an extent that is almost unhealthy. He went on to say that if I continue to run the amount I have been over the summer, I’d most likely be looking at hip or knee replacements in my late 30’s to mid 40’s. He admitted to not actually believing how much I worked out until he listened to my resting heart rate, which was 52, below average.

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The Mayo Clinic

Those who are serious runners may take offense to what he said, but I went into this appointment knowing he wasn’t in love with the runners lifestyle. He went on to explain that the more they research those who run excessively, the more they are finding running linked to not only the breaking down of knees, hips, and such, but also the affiliation of heart disease as well. Will this news affect my running? I’m not sure yet.

Since I disclosed that we will add on to our family in the next couple years, he said most definitely that he would not consider medication at this time. He sighed, leaned back in his chair and said, “Look. If running is what helps you at this time in your life, then I’m not going to say stop, not like you would listen anyway. Winking smile But, after you are done having children, and if you are still having issues, it may be time to consider other options. For now, if you can, maybe taper down the running a bit, but if you can’t, well then just be careful.”

They ran blood work just to be sure and it came back fantastic, besides being a little low on Vitamin D, which is pretty normal for me. I have been bad at taking my vitamins lately. Back on that bandwagon!

Overall the best part of leaving that appointment was knowing I’m not crazy or loosing my mind. There is really something wrong, and however small, it still affects me. Looking back now, I believe I’ve had issues with depression in my past. Want to know a true story? My parents sat Travis down years ago when he went to them to ask for my hand in marriage, and told him I experience extreme highs and lows, and they wanted him to be well aware of it. Have you ever heard of parents warning the potential husband of their daughter that she is a little crazy? Ha!

Believe me when I say for the longest time I thought depression was a joke. I assumed some people used it as an excuse and medication was there to numb whatever it was they couldn’t deal with. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that now. Over the past few years I have been able to see first hand real depression and the affects it has on a person. Do I think depression is over-diagnosed and over-medicated? Yes. But I also believe some people do legitimately have, and need medication for it. Am I to that point? Not anywhere close!

Honestly this past month has been pretty good. I think just knowing I’m not loony is part of it. I have also been researching treating depression with essential oils and may try that in the future. But for right now knowing there is nothing physically wrong with me is good enough. I’ve also found if I can manage to fight off that initially urge to nap when Tyrion naps, that the exhaustion does ebb a bit and I’m able to function. PiYo in the morning also wakes me up and helps my productivity throughout the day.

So there you have it! My little “issue” of late. In conclusion, (I feel like I’m doing a book report) I’m glad I finally broke down and went in to see the doctor, and feel the steps I’m taking now are going to benefit my health in the long run.

If you are still reading this long winded post thank you! Sorry for not breaking it up with photos, but nothing really seemed appropriate.

I’m off to enjoy some cuddle time on the couch with my boys. It’s raining outside, we have the fire going inside, and it’s time to soak in some family time!

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Weekend Recap 10/27/14

Guess what I did this weekend?!

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Apples! 24/7 apples! Besides Church on Sunday I was pretty much in the kitchen. On the up side though, these are all I have left.

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Okay well those and this box, but that’s all!

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So far my pantry is full of:

- 32 quarts of applesauce, regular and cinnamon

-7 quarts of apple pie filling

- 4 gallon bags dried apples, regular and cinnamon

Writing that down now it doesn’t seem like much, but I’ve been busting my tush! It will probably take two more days to finish them all up, and I can’t wait to be done.

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Not sure if I’m in love with the apple pie filing.

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I mean it’s good, just not as pie-consistency as I would like.

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I may peruse Pinterest a bit today and look for a different recipe to try. Other than that I’m going at the applesauce again. My goal is 52 quarts. Tyrion goes through about a quart a week so that would bring us right up to this time next year!

And after this last batch of apples in the dehydrator it’s time to start drying the peppers.

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I dehydrated these last year with jalapenos, then blended them up in the blender and bam, best spicy topping ever!

I also grew these peppers this year, but I’m not sure what kind they are? I’ll add them to the spicy mix too, just for fun.

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As far as the workout front goes, I was able to get in a 6 mile run Friday. It felt great to be out there, finally! I am still struggling with how hard it is to find time with less daylight. It’s almost depressing. Really, unless I take Tyrion with me, I have to wait for Travis’s days off. Sad smile Boo! But, PiYo has been a great outlet and I’m enjoying the quick workouts! However, for how short the workouts are (anywhere from 18-39 minutes) they kill!

And that’s all I got for the weekend recap! Pretty boring besides apples, but super productive!

Have a great Monday! I’m off to can more . . . apples.

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Friday Fun Facts II

It may just be me but this week has flown by! We had so much going on, but it’s all been fun stuff, so I won’t complain.

Last weeks “Fun Facts” was liked by many of you readers, so I decided to throw another one at ya today!

1.) We were out the door early today to drop my Yukon off at Snow’s to get it “tricked out,” like I mentioned last post. I can’t wait until it’s home!

2.) Apples!

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Yep, I got a bin of them for such a good deal! Okay, so I split the bin with my mom, since I could never use all these delicious guys by myself. Travis and I went and picked them up after dropping the SUV off. The seller took a forklift and lowered the bin right in the back of our truck. Easy peasy! As soon as we brought them home I promptly got to work!

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In the dehydrator right now are cinnamon apples, but I’ll also make regular ones. And tonight or tomorrow I’ll start canning applesauce and pie filling! Yum! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

If you love apples and don’t have a peeler you are crazy! This thing has been a life saver.

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I purchased mine at our local General Store last year for right around $20 I think?

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It suctions to your counter and is flat out a life saver. And so fun to use. When I was a kid me and my siblings loved helping mom peel the apples. It was the coveted job that we all fought for. Oh and the horses? Ya, their favorite time of year was when we were canning apples. Hello juicy peels and cores!

To use the peeler: shove that apple right on it, spin, and off comes the skin!

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Tada!!!!

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I slice the apple pieces in half, put in a Ziploc bad and mix with cinnamon, and then place on dehydrator for about 8 hours. Let me tell you, my house smells divine right now.

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I have a couple more trays to fill and as I’ve been working on it the Michael Bublé Pandora station has been playing in the background and it feels like fall. Travis is working in the garage and Tyrion is napping. Life is good.

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3.) While we were out and about this morning we also stopped at Lowe’s to grab a new heater for Tyions room. His last heater couldn’t keep a steady heat, and my little man can’t be cold when he is snuggled in bed at night! This one looked good and came with a 3 year warranty. Since most of our previous heaters don’t last past two years I was excited about that.

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Haha of course I take a picture of the non-English side. Just noticed that, sorry!

4.) Speaking of Tyrion, he got his first hair cut at grandmas yesterday!

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It wasn’t much, just a little trim around the ears. He sat great too, but we will attribute that to cousin Danny, who was bouncing around the kitchen like a crazy boy and had Tyrions full attention.

5.) Did you know if you purchase an Otter Box for your phone is comes with a replacement warranty!? Tyrion dropped my phone from a shopping cart onto the pavement the other day and I thank my Otter Box for keeping my phone safe and taking the hit. My friend told me about the replacement warranty, so I printed out the paperwork and just have to fill it out and email the info, and I’ll have a new Box!

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6.) I need, like really need to go for a run today! Travis is off and I’m going to make it happen!

7.) And . . . . I’m honestly all I’m out of fun facts for the day. I can’t think of anything else of worth to say, and I have literally hundreds of apples calling my name, so I’m off to get to work!

Have a great Friday and happy weekend!

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It’s Here!!!!

Sorry I didn’t pop in yesterday, I was busy with my new baby!

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It doesn’t take the place of little Tyrion,

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But I’m still pretty darn excited!

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I was the proud owner of a truck before Travis and I married, but when we got together we decided it wasn’t smart to own two trucks, so I downsized to a small car that was good on gas. And while my little Nissan Sentra was an amazing car, after our several recent trips across the state we realized how stinking hard it was to cram everything we need in it. Plus, I have really missed driving something substantial. I feel so vulnerable in a small car. And since we do plan to expand our family in the future, it just made sense.

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Since we weren’t in a rush and I didn’t want to take a loss on trading the Sentra in, we posted it on Craigslist and thought maybe we would catch someone’s attention eventually. Travis got 20 calls in 24 hours and sold it that evening! Crazy!!!!! We were both floored! I mean, we didn’t try and sell it cheap or anything. We posted it at what we considered fair, and it sold!

Hello awesome down payment! Travis is a car addict and has been searching the market for months, “just because.” So a couple days later when he saw a killer deal we went down and looked at it, and after a little negotiations, it was ours! It had just been traded in though, so it wasn’t detailed or anything, hence why I’ve been waiting.

I am so in love.

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It’s roomy, high up, and I feel like my little love bug is protected in this beast!

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It even came with a DVD player for our back-seat riders.

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The player does need tweaked a bit to work, so our dealer made us an appointment at Snow’s Auto, a local accessories dealer, to have them fix it! Sweet! And since they are already going to have our car for the afternoon, and Travis loves the quality of work at Snow’s, he ordered custom Weather Tech floor mats for me plus a remote start!!!!! Early Christmas present and I’m beyond excited. I feel like I’m on the show “Trick My Ride.”

No it’s not a new Yukon, but close enough! I was raised to never purchase a new vehicle as in most cases you overpay big time. But, it’s new to me and I’m good with that! Plus hello, who has $50,000 laying around for a 2015? Say hi to a second house payment! Sheesh!

Well, I’m off to go stare at my SUV out the kitchen window. See ya!

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Weekend Recap 10/20/14

And here we are again. Monday morning! How goes it? Fun weekend?

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We had a great weekend and enjoyed our pumpkin carving party.

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Well, I carved, Tyrion really just wanted to eat all the seeds.

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He kept trying to scoop them up with the pumpkin gut scooper and eat them. Such a goose!

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Tyrion is in love with stars lately. He has a little pillow pet that shines stars in different colors and he sleeps with it ever night. He lays in bed looking at the projected stars on the celling and whispers “stars, stars,” over and over. It’s the most adorable thing ever. So of course his pumpkin had to be stars! Overall he was pretty fascinated with the whole carving experience.

And so was cousin Danny. Grandma helped him carve a kitty on his pumpkin. Sorry for the blur, Travis isn’t the best at taking photos. Winking smile

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Before the carving my sister had asked if I could take some family photos of them, so we trekked across Denison Ridge taking photos. They turned out great! While we were snapping pics Travis was getting more wood with my dad and brother. We officially are good on wood for winter!

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Now just to split it all.

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And that was the highlights from our weekend. I’m still waiting for that item I told you on Friday I’m on pins and needles for. Hopefully they will call today!

And that’s all. I’m off to get in two PiYo workouts since it didn’t happen yesterday. They I think Tyrion and I will go for a walk to the nearest coffee stand. And tonight when Travis gets home, if we don’t go pick up my item, then I’m hoping to get a little run in. But I’d cancel on that in a heartbeat if I get the call.

Have a great day everyone!

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